At that moment I thought: Terrible! Perhaps I have broken my waist. There was nobody at home and I couldn’t move, so I could only persistently cry to God for help. After praying, I endured the pain, stood up slowly, and phoned my husband. Then he returned home and sent me to the hospital. After an examination, the doctor said, “You have a fractured vertebra in your back. Three vertebral joints are broken, and the lumbar nerve is also impaired. The nerve damage is irreparable, and your joints ought to be operated on as soon as possible. You could lose the ability to work after the operation.” Hearing these words, my husband said to me, “You are too old to undergo a surgery. You could be paralyzed.” On hearing this, I was perturbed and at a loss what to do. Finally, my husband spent sixty yuan buying some medicine for me and took me home. After going home, I lay in bed and was not able to move. My children didn’t care about me, nor did my husband treat me as a patient. After getting me something to eat, he went to gamble. The manners of my husband and children made me sorrowful and grieved and I saw that there was no love between people at all. I could only pray to God, “O God! I’m ill but my husband and children don’t take care of me. I see that there is no love between people. Only You love man the most. And only You are my reliance. I have no one to lean on in illness. All I can do is to depend on You, Almighty God. May You guide me and help me.” After the prayer, God enlightened me to these words: “When sickness happens it is due to God’s love and His good intentions are surely behind it. Even when your body endures suffering, take no ideas from Satan. Praise God in the midst of illness and enjoy God in the midst of your praise. Do not lose heart in the face of illness, keep seeking and never give up, and God shall shine His light to you. How faithful was Job? Almighty God is an all-powerful physician! To dwell in sickness is to be sick, but to dwell in the spirit is to be well. If you have but one breath, God will not let you die.” These words gave me faith and made me realize that God is almighty, that I couldn’t lose my faith and dwell in sickness, and that I needed to pray much to God and seek His will. From God’s enlightenment and guidance I felt that God is at my side and that He is my reliance and support. I no longer felt distressed but felt the warmth that came from having God with me.
Due to the illness, I was unable to attend meetings or sing hymns to praise God with my brothers and sisters. I especially missed the times when I gathered with my brothers and sisters. So I prayed to God, “O God! What shall I do? I want to have meetings with my brothers and sisters. May You give me faith and power to triumph over the illness so that I can continue to perform my duty.” After I prayed many times in this way, the church leader came to see me. Then I said to her, “Sister, I want to attend meetings and perform my duty. I cannot leave God. Although my waist still aches now, my heart will become even more pained if I leave my brothers and sisters and can’t live the church life.” Then she arranged for me to lead small group meetings. During the meetings, I was unable to sit still because of my lumbago. I was afraid that the pain would affect the meeting, so I prayed to God, “O God! May You give me faith and power so that I can finish this meeting.” At every meeting I would urgently pray like this, and God would have mercy on me so that I could persevere until the meeting was over. Three months later, seeing that my lumbago was gone, my husband asked me to go to work in the fields. This made me bitterly disappointed. During the three months when I was ill he didn’t take care of me; when I got better thanks to God’s protection,he immediately asked me to work. Regarding my health condition, I was not fit to work in the fields, but he didn’t care at all. In order to make sure that I was able to work, he took me to the hospital for a check. After seeing the X-ray plates, the doctor said, “We would be able to reset your broken bones if you had had an operation within half a month after you got injured. But now more than three months have passed, the joints have already become shaped, and it’s impossible for you to recover. You can take some medicine to relieve pain, but you can’t work anymore.” I asked the doctor whether there were other treatments, and he replied, “You can have an injection once a year for three years in succession. Each injection costs 3,000 yuan.” My husband grudged spending money, so he only bought some medicine for me and took me home.
Later, because the atheistic CCP government persecuted religious belief, it was not safe for me to attend meetings in my village, so the sister arranged for me to lead another gathering outside my village. After the meeting, my sisters offered to send me home by electric scooter, but I was not fit to sit on the scooter because of my lumbago, so I chose to walk home. Due to the lumbago, I walked very slowly. Sometimes it was dark when I got home. I was somewhat negative. Then I prayed to God, “O God! My waist aches very much and I have difficulty in walking. Sometimes I’m negative and weak and want to be considerate to my physical body. How can I fulfill my duty well in this state? I’m willing for You to guide me and protect my heart from the disturbance of Satan, so that I can fulfill my duty well to repay Your love.” After the prayer, God enlightened me to remember His words: “It’s very simple now: Look upon Me with your heart and your spirit will immediately become strong, you will have a path to follow and I will guide your every step. My word shall be revealed to you at all times and in all places. No matter where or when, or how adverse the environment is, I will show you clearly and My heart shall be revealed to you if you look to Me with your heart; this way you will run down the road ahead and never lose your way.” God’s words gave me faith and allowed me to understand His wish to save me. From the outside, I endured some suffering because of fulfilling my duty, but actually I had received God’s protection thanks to my duty. When the non-believers hurt their waist, they lay in the bed and couldn’t move, and needed someone to take care of their eating, drinking, defecating, and urinating. Not only did they spend money, but they had to endure sufferings. In contrast, I, without the care of my family members, had received God’s care and keeping through attending meetings, reading God’s words, fulfilling my duty, and maintaining a normal relationship with God. Under the encouragement of God’s love, I regularly attended meetings and spread the gospel to those who had good humanity and were willing to believe in God in my spare time. And my waist was on the mend day by day.
During the several months when I was ill, my family members didn’t care about me, while God had never abandoned me and His love had been accompanying me. I felt that God’s love is too great, and my heart was deeply moved by it. So I offered up a grateful prayer to God, “O God! I thank and praise You! It’s You that took away the torment of my illness and led me to triumph over the illness. Only You are my reliance and only You love me the most. I’m just a tiny created creature, but I have received Your great grace. I’m willing to do all that I can in the rest of my time to repay Your love.”
Now the pain in my back and waist is gone, and I can walk more than five kilometers without a break. The doctor and my family members all said that my waist wouldn’t heal, and that even if I underwent operation I would still be unable to work. However, under the guidance of God, I’m I able to fulfill my duty and can even walk more than five kilometers without a break, of which I have never thought in the past. This is totally God’s love! I have personally experienced God’s words: “God’s supremacy, greatness, holiness, tolerance, love, and so forth—all of these various aspects of God’s disposition and essence are put into effect every time He does His work, embodied in His will toward man, and also fulfilled and reflected on every person. Regardless of whether you have felt it before, God is caring for every person in every possible way, using His sincere heart, wisdom, and various methods to warm each person’s heart, and awaken each person’s spirit. This is an indisputable fact.” Through my experience I have truly appreciated that everything about man is in God’s hands, and that man’s life and death, blessings and curses are also within God’s grasp. I had such a bad fall that the lumbar nerve was impaired and I needed to have an operation on three joints of my waist. However, Almighty God led me out of the torment of the illness step by step and allowed me to taste His true love. When I was in pain and helplessness, it was God’s words that gave me faith and accompanied me through those painful and rough days, and it was God that healed me of my illness. I praise God from my heart! From now on, I will strengthen my faith to follow God. No matter what suffering or adversity I may encounter, I will never leave God, because God is our only salvation and reliance!
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